I went to my first class EVER taught by a non-gay man tonight. I've been going to spin classes for about year now and it's always been gay men... so here are my insights on why gay men should be the only ones allowed to lead spin classes.
10. Women sorta mumble in their mics and giggle like morons. Gay men scream at you.
9. Phrases like, "Suck it Up" and "Push it Harder" just seem more believeable from gay men.
8. Women play shit like Sheryl Crow and remixes of old B-52s songs. No. No. No.
7. Gay guys isn't afraid to sweat the hell out of it. Over everything- their bike, the ground, whatever is in sweating distance. It makes them feel like they're at the club at 5am on a Saturday morning.
6. Women sorta mutter, "Ok, let's go" whereas gay men will yell motivating phrases like, "Mmmm hmmmm, oh yeah, let's go now" like they were on meth at a Madonna concert.
5. A gay guy is less inhibited to yell at you when you clearly have too little resistance on your bike, making you feel about 2 inches tall in a way that only a gay man can.
4. Gay men have the ability to do things on the beat of the music and they have some rhythm.
3. Gay men play GOOD remixes (read: Pink and Cher remixes are oddly motivating).
2. Gay men REALLY know when you're faking it.
1. When he says, "Stick out your ass," you know he has intimate knowledge of doing just that.
Comments