Omg... are you faux real?: Chicago gay life

I transcribed this from an IM with a friend. We were discussing what gay life (if there is such a thing) is like in Chicago. I said there are several categories of homo here... and they're listed below:

1. There's the, "I weigh 85 pounds, i say fabulous in every sentence, and i live to get pounded in the ass by a different stranger every night" category. They also have either barely finished HS or have their associates degree.

2. There's this population of really well-built, really muscular, beautiful masculine guys that only want someone else exactly like him. They have sex with each other constantly within their little circle, switching off-and-on between them. They all have college degrees in like sociology or kinesiology but are managers of gay bars

3. Then there's "I'm sorta attractive but i have no self-confidence and it's clear from looking at me that my screenname on gay.com is anonfuck28" crowd. They're usually introverted in person but post in Craigslist like a mad fiend.

4. There's the "I'm definitely over 35 hanging out in a 20-something gay bar wearing a child's extra-small novelty t-shirt with some euphemism about being gay or gay sex" (for example, click here)

5. Then, and this is a little harder to discern...There's the, "Dear GOD, I live my life to be at gay bars. please please please please can we go to [club name] that's open until 6am?" Their entire lives revolve around being at gay bars, around gay people, doing and saying gay things, wearing gay clothes... you get the picture.

6. There's also the, "I really want a bf but OOPS, my pants came off with this random guy i met at the bar."
Yeah no, you really don't want a bf. You want someone to have lots of sex with.

7. I'm SUPRE hot (yes, they spell it that way) and no one is good enough for me and therefore I can give you my sense of superiority. Hmm, well, just because you have an ugly face but just happened to be born with a 27" waist doesn't make you universally attractive. In fact, it makes you a small elf of some kind.